Other People's Kids

Clowns are scary and people really really really hate them.  I totally get it, the make up, the being strange the propensity to stab themselves with balloon swords.  Clowns are just flipping weird.  I never really thought they were evil.  I always thought that clowns were unfairly demonized because of their slavish devotion to the traditional costume and the result of an army of Bozo knockoffs. 

Actually though, clowns are really evil. 

And it is your children's fault. 

I have spent the summer surrounded by kids, in my classes, at my job at the playground, and even on family vacations and I have discovered that there is a limit to the time I can spent with your children. Once past that limit any person, and clowns come up against that limit more than others, feels an irresistible urge to make children cry.  I find it happening with me when there are hundreds of children around and they keep trying to get my attention, or ignore me when I try to keep them from killing themselves and all I want is to see one of their tiny faces ball up into a squash and start to wail.