My Life as a Clown

The Big 2^5

I turned 32 today and had a really great Birthday.  The F-bomb and I went to White People Heaven, also known as Napa Valley.  We stayed at a bed and breakfast and people kept offering us  chilled white wine and then wanted compares exercise regimes over brunch.  (I probably should not have read shttp://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com before going).  The valley is very pretty and we took mud baths in Calistoga (a city so named when a drunk guy tried to say the word Saratoga).  Mud Bathes are weird. They are pretty fun once you get into them, but when you first sit down in them you don’t really go anywhere. You end up laying on top of this tub of hot wet mud and have to work your way down into it, by shimmying and wiggling and forcing yourself under.  Like reverse quicksand.

So The trip was great except for some of the noises the F-bomb made after having a violent reaction to either some delicious baby-back ribs, some excellent super whipped mashed potatoes, or this exquisite cheese-mother-fscking-risotto-with-pork-thing.  I ate all the same stuff but she was hugging the toilet like it was frat party.  I had forgotten how scary the sound of one person upchucking can be.  It could be that she had wine with dinner and I stuck with Allergy medicine.  Wal-zyr, a fine vintage that.