My Life as a Clown

Don’t fuck with my Sandy!  The number of days since my last Miss Congeniatlity marathon is my most precious measure of mental health.  I don’t know where I would be without her.

Also,  if “while you were sleeping” didn’t make you cry,  You are a Robot!  And not a creepy Japanese sex bot, a creepy Japanese Car Builder Robot.  The kind without a union.

thenelsontwins:

One of the most surreal moments was watching my college roommate, Demetrius, the biggest and blackest man I have ever known, sobbing to the movie While You Were Sleeping, with Sandra Bullock.

Me: “Hey, Demetrius… Are you … Crying?”

D: “… sniffle …”

Me: “You’re crying to a movie with Bill Pullman in it? You’re totally gay.”

D: “Fuck you.  This shit is sad.”

That has nothing to do with this post.  But it does have to do with Sandra Bullock.

oldauntamy:

stephenfalk:

Someone approved this poster.

Ignore the fact that someone approved this movie, someone approved this poster. Someone brought this poster into a meeting at 20th and some executives sitting around a table said, “Yes. This is indeed the key art around which we shall base our entire marketing campaign! Against all odds, Sandra Bullock had a giant movie this year with The Proposal and everyone thinks they love Bradley Cooper because he didn’t fuck up The Hangover with all his blandness all over the place, and this is our chance to capitalize. So… with that in mind, we choose this poster. This is our choice. You did it again, marketing department. You cracked it wide open!”

Seriously. No, seriously. Someone looked at this and — aware that it is the year of 2009, and they’re not creating a poster for, like, Diggstown or Picture Perfect or Hot To Trot — said, “I love it.” No. No! I’m serious. Is this a period piece? Why do both Church and Cooper have “Dawson Creek” pants on. With the big thigh pocket. For carrying your giant 1997 cell phone. And I would discuss the Sandra Bullock side of the poster but I can’t look over there. I’ve covered up half my computer screen with a piece of cardboard. I can’t. I’m sorry.

“Hey, so what do you think of our poster?” someone asked.

“We love it,” someone else said. And then ran out and shorted their 20th stock in a giant ploy to lose money for the company and capitalize by betting against it. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. If you have a better one, I’d love to hear it.